Getting there

Getting there is very important to make sure you get the most out of your festival, but a road trip can be quite draining if you haven’t planned ahead. Never fear — our step-by-step guide is here!

CAR CREW - OK, first things first. Your companions can really make or break your journey, so here is a helpful checklist:

• Nice people.
• Small people.
• At least two drivers.
• No BO.
• No garlic-based foods consumed the night before.
• Very reliable navigator.
• Teetotaler (if you know one).
• Good story/joke-teller

VEHICLE - Now that you know who’s coming, you need something to get there in. Luckily we’ve made a checklist for that too:

• Reliable.
• Comfortable.
• Spacious seating.
• Lots of boot space (for camping gear/contraband).
• Air-conditioning.
• iPod plugger-inner.

ROUTE - You gotta plan how to get there. To make a long drive slightly less mind-numbingly boring it should be scenic, yet direct, with some well-thought-out detours along the way; such as:

• A proper roadside diner.
• Some sort of camping-gear store.
• A photo op at one of Australia’s Big Things (we recommend The Big Banana and The Big Prawn, both of which are on the way to Splendour in the Grass).
• Some sort of supermarket — Campbells Cash and Carry wins points for having everything in bulk, but remember that you’ll have to carry it at some point (see page 54).

SUSTENANCE - You will get bored and you will get hungry. Eating can make both of these problems go away, so you should get some food and drinks:

• Lollies — Top tip: to avoid sugary freak-outs, don’t bring out of the bag until you are nearly there.
• Cheese platter — Preferably a really, really nice one that has soft, hard and blue cheeses, along with some quince paste. Choose tough crackers that can double-up as a knife. Go all out with optional extras such as caviar and foie gras — this will be your last civilised meal for some time.
• Beef jerky — Freeze-dried steak should keep your iron levels up.
• Astronaut food — If Space Food Sticks can survive outer space, not only should they last the entire road trip, but they’ll also help you avoid nasty queues in the morning for bacon-and-egg rolls (and you’ll have something to eat on the way home!).
• Cereal bars — Perfect for lazy people: breakfast in a biscuit.

DRINKS - Because you will be thirsty:

• Energy drinks — These are not very thirst-quenching.
• Water — This is extremely thirst-quenching.
• If the weather is hot – Juice.
• If the weather is cold — A thermos filled with hot chocolate, tea or even soup (if you do opt for soup, make sure you put the lid on tight to avoid the distinctive ‘old soup’ smell on the drive home).

SOUNDTRACK - Last but definitely not least: if you want a successful road trip, these songs must be on your playlist:

• The Beatles — ‘Drive My Car’
• Gary Newman — ‘Cars’
• Ween — ‘El Camino’
• The Cars — ‘Drive’
• Prince — ‘Little Red Corvette’ (if you are actually driving to a festival in a red Corvette, please feel free to invite us)